Forgiveness is a bold choice to let go of the pain and suffering that binds you to the past.
It’s not a gift to those that hurt you, it’s a gift you give to yourself.
It’s an act of self-love to heal the damaged, broken pieces of yourself.
It’s about reclaiming your power and rebalancing your inner peace.
Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness, BUT because YOU deserve peace…
You don’t punish others by not forgiving them. You instead punish yourself, as you force yourself to hold on to the pain.
So how long have you been punishing yourself just to keep reliving that anger and resentment each day?
Furthermore, how has it affect not only your life but the ones closest to you?
You are the one that deserves the forgiveness
Forgiveness is in our best interest, for the sake of our mental health and wellbeing, our peace, and our soul.
It is a crucial step in healing and moving forward.
As an adult, the older we get the more we realize how precious and powerful peace can be.
Experience helps you see and understand the world better.
Knowing that those who hurt us might have been hurt themselves and our enemies might need compassion instead of hate, but they too have a certain amount of responsibility to themselves.
Each and every person has their own free will to choose between acting in love and peace or hate and misery.
Remember, that as with all freedom it comes with responsibility.
In the same way YOU have to power to choose forgiveness (healing) or resentment (pain).
It’s not just a religious concept, but a psychological and emotional tool that can lead to significant improvements in our overall well-being.
Mental benefits:
- Reduce stress, anxiety, and tension
- Decrease symptoms of depression
- Improve our self-esteem and confidence
- Free up mental space and focus
- Shifts our mindset from victimhood to one of strength
Emotional benefits:
- It lifts feelings of anger and resentment
- Helps fosters feelings of understanding, empathy, and compassion
- Improves our overall emotional well-being and stability
- Enhances our ability to form and maintain healthier relationships
- Increases our capacity to feel joy, peace, and happiness
Spiritual benefits:
- It aligns our with values with love and understanding
- Reconnects us with our higher selves and spiritual beliefs
- Aligns us with positive energy
- Allows us to learn and grow from negative experiences
- Helps us become more optimistic and hopeful of the future
Our happiness is our own responsibility
This might be hard to hear for some, but the outcome of your happiness thus far in your life is the sum of all of the life choices you have made up until now.
No, I am not talking about things beyond your control.
No one asks to get mistreated by others. You can’t control how others want to treat you, but we can always control our reactions.
I am talking about your decisions to put yourself on the path of joy and happiness.
Many of us hold on tight to hurt and resentment like it’s a close friend.
Ask yourself what is holding you back from being free from the burdens of the past? How does it benefit us or those close us when we choose not to forgive?
If you can relate to one or more of these areas, then you are still holding on to hurt, anger, and resentment:
- You have obsessive thoughts about them and why they did this to you?
- Friends and family are sick of hearing about this and them
- You get easily triggered hearing about them, or anything related to them
- Victimhood mentality – you want and need everyone to know that they are the bad guy
- Keeping an eye on their social media and investigate their private life
- You take delight in hearing bad things happening to them
- Fluctuating back and forth between sadness, hurt, and anger
- Insomnia because late nights thought keeps running in your mind
- You can’t even be in the same room as them
- Thought about revenge or justice keep reoccurring
What you can do to take you power back:
To take your power back, start by shifting the focus from them back onto yourself, because what you focus on, you give power to.
Reflect on the part you played in the situation and what you can learn from it—every experience offers wisdom if you’re open to it.
Cut them out of your life and energy space, which means no more checking up on them or stalking their social media.
Finally, commit to improving your mind, body, and spirit. By focusing on your personal growth, you regain control and move forward stronger and more empowered.
5 Steps to forgiveness
- It’s time to be truthful about your feelings. Sometimes we can be in denial about how much they really hurt us. It’s hard to admit that they were able to have such power over us.
- Just because they didn’t say apologize for what they did, doesn’t mean you can’t move on.
- Don’t phone bomb them when you get emotional. Instead, write a letter with what you have to say, let it all out then either keep it or throw it away.
- Practice self-love and self-care. Stay away from negativity that could interfere with your healing process.
- Just because you have forgiven them doesn’t automatically mean they are welcomed back. People must earn a spot in your life, especially if they have taken you for granted the first time.
Some last words…
I know life is hard at times. We let those in, who end up hurting us, we make mistakes, and sometimes hurt ourselves in the end.
In the hardest of time, remember that Life is best experienced when you get to sample all of its fine seasons.
Sometimes when it rains, it pours. But the sun will always come right after.
All of our experiences makes us the unique and special, as to who we are today.
There is no one quite like you in this world. Your existence makes this world a more unique place to be, believe that.
As always, remember what I said earlier in the article.
Every single one of us has a responsibility to ourselves and our happiness.
Our choices can either bring us closer to happiness and joy or hate and misery.
Practice self-love and self-care frequently, so that you are able to make the right choices for yourself.
Lastly, be kind to yourself.
Life can catch anyone off by surprise. When it has a chance to pull out the rug from under us, learn to brush yourself off and to raise again.
Remember, it’s never to let, but the first step begins with you!
