Toxic People: How to One Up Them

Toxic people

Toxic people can be found anywhere. They could be the difficult boss, gossipy coworker, the know-it-all family member, the ”I the victim” friend, or even the narcissistic lover. Sometimes fate has a funny way of bringing them to us when we are out driving, at our child’s school, and or buying groceries. The world is full of these kinds of people. You can’t avoid them anywhere you go, the best thing to do is to skillfully learn how to block their negativity while keeping your sanity in check.

Still curious if you might be in a toxic relationship or not, click here to read more.

Limit your time around toxic people

Your own happiness is your sole responsibility. If every contact with them involves fights, drama, and or negative outcomes then it is your responsibility to limit contact with them for your own emotional and mental wellbeing.

If it is someone like a senior family member who has to rely on you for basic needs or survival, you can still help them, but limit your time around them.

These individuals need to know why you are limiting your time around them.

If you just avoid them without telling them how you feel, they will not know that it is the consequence of their actions that is creating distance between you two.

Then it is then up to them if they want to make changes to their behaviors for the betterment of the relationship.    

You set the time frame depending on your comfort level. Some people you can once a week while others you can only bear to see once a year.

Stay firm with set boundaries

Not all kindness is repaid in equal kindness.

Boundaries need to be set in all relationships, not just when dealing with toxic individuals.

You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. It is when we have undefined expectations of others is when the relationship gets hurt.

Boundaries help you meet each other halfway; it also builds a stronger bond within the relationship through respect. Healthy relationships are built on the foundation of healthy boundaries.

Learn to set boundaries by using these tools from positivitypsychology.com

How to Set Personal Boundaries

Protect your energy around toxic people

Have you ever been around people where you feel completely mentally and physically drained afterward?

They are defined as energy vampires. They can be coworkers, friends, family members, and or even spouses.

After being around them for some time you feel like all of your life force and energy has been sucked out of you. Mentally and emotionally these people do a number on you.

You need to protect your mental health and wellbeing around these individuals. There is no limit to the damage they could do. Depending on the severity it might be best for your well-being to even cut ties. Some relationships can be complicated, if cutting ties is not an option you can still do your best to protect yourself when you are around them.

  • Do not let them manipulate you or your emotions. Keep firm in your decisions.
  • If they fail at manipulation, they will try to use intimidation.
  • You need to keep your wits about you, they already know you well enough to use your weaknesses against you
  • Set a time limit of how much access they have to you. If you live together go to another area of the house or take yourself physically out of the environment until you have a moment to gain your mental stability back.

Understand you can’t change them

When we are in any social situation, we need to meet with people where they are. At times we get so frustrated with others because we can’t seem to understand why they act the way they do. If they could only see their negative ways. They could change, become better, and happier.

Unfortunately, their business is not our business to try to fix. Unless people want to change you couldn’t even change them if you tried.

Everyone is on their own journey, and everyone has free will to experience that journey as they please. When you try to change others, you are only just setting yourself up for failure.

You can’t change those who see nothing wrong with how they are. I know it is hard to accept this truth.

If this is someone dear to you, you might feel like in a way you are giving up on them if you don’t try your best to help.

Understand that people want to be accepted for who they are, if who they are is hurting you, you

might want to rethink your exposure around them. It’s okay to love people from a distance.

Toxic people love feeding off our emotions

Build up your mental strength when in the company of toxic people. Many times, toxic people have a problem with their emotional stability which also affects yours when being around them.

When they outpour their emotional instability that is when you have to revert to the opposite and use logic and reasoning. This is how to better neutralize their emotional tantrums.

Keep a cool and steady demeanor, toxic people love to use emotions as a power play and as fuel.

Many times, it’s hard to win in a battle with toxic people because they try to win at all costs even if that means hurting themselves in the process.

Remember they can be emotionally unstable. What they do and how they do things are sometimes seen to be illogical.

When you are around them do not let what they say and do get the best of you.

Learn to walk away

Toxic people need an audience when they are acting out their emotional outbursts and colorful dramatic scenarios. They thrive on intensity, if you let them say what they need to say and walk away without an emotional response they have no extra fuel for all of that fiery intensity.

Many times, for your emotional and mental wellbeing you need to completely take yourself out of the environment and be physically away from them.

In some cases, you might even have to completely cut some toxic individuals out of your life for good.

As stated before, even though you might have a long history with some of these people and they could even be family members it’s not worth the pain and torment not to mention your mental sanity.

Being around toxic people is a losing battle, even if you try to keep the peace within the relationship you will be the one to come out with bruises and scars.

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 or Text ‘’START’’ to 88788 (24hrs/7days call/text/online chat) English & Spanish

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline English 1-800-273-8255 Spanish 1-888-628-9454 (24hrs/7days call/ online chat)

National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-4673 (24hrs/7days call/online chat) English & Spanish

National Alliance on Mental Illness Help Line 1-800-950-6264 or Text ’’NAMI’’ to 741741, and online chat)

Crisis Text Line  Text ‘’HOME’’ to 741741 (24hrs/7days)

Author: Anna Rose

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