Did you know that how you are and how you act can be a strong magnet for certain people including toxic people?
Unfortunately, we live in a world that is not based on the system ‘’Treat others how you would like to be treated’’.
You will run into all kinds of people in life, including toxic people who try to hurt you, use you and abuse you.
Our thoughts, behaviors, and actions can attract or repel certain people in our lives.
You might be thinking, ‘’Oh, no. I would never want to intentionally attract toxic people in my life…’’.
Of course! who would?!
Having toxic people in your life not only drain your energy but also prevent you from achieving happiness.
With out a doubt, no one wants to intentionally attract toxic people, but what if you are doing that you are not fully aware of.
Little, everyday habits, and behaviors happen so often and on such a regular basis that sometimes we are not even aware of what we are really doing.
Here are 5 traits that make you a magnet for toxic people…
1. You aim to please
If you have a hard time saying no to people or even doing things that are against your happiness to not upset others, then you are considered a people pleaser.
People pleasers tend to have little to no personal boundaries and toxic people love this about them.
As a matter of fact, they look for this very trait in lovers or friends.
Because this reason makes you easy to manipulate.
Whether it be your time or energy, toxic people look want it all!
Beware that not all toxic people display themselves as mean, pushy, or evil people.
Some are undercover and I will not know until it is too late!
Remember, they can be master manipulators. Many times be seen as friendly, outgoing, and or charismatic individuals.
They will spot you out before you even get to know them and charm the socks out of you to not trigger any red flags at the beginning of the relationship.
2. You have low self-confidence or sense of self-worth
Toxic people enjoy being around others that have low self-confidence or low self-worth.
Looking for love, acceptance, or approval from others can make you a target for toxic people.
Sure, they might shower you with attention, but at what cost will you have to pay?
Toxic people only give to get, and they expect their payment to be double if not triple what they give.
They will give you what you need to not feel lonely but do expect that if in their presence, they will expect to be the star of the show.
One thing about toxic personalities is their idea of self-worth. They have an inflated sense and oftentimes unrealistic sense of their own self-worth.
If they have a big ego, then why would they be attracted to others with low self-worth?
Here are two main reasons…
One, it confirms their sense of superiority.
Mind you, this is why they prefer to hang around others with low self-worth.
The truth is that there is little to no competition for them. They will ”shine” in comparison.
Two, they expect special treatment from people with low self-worth as a prize for being the ‘’superior’’ one. They are the lead star, and you are the supporting cast.
The ”payment” for replacing your loneliness with their presences as previously mentioned.
Will be in the form of recognition, admiration, and applause. Which is expected during each encounter.
3. You are a very loyal person
This one is a juicy topic!
Okay, lets say you already have a sense of personal boundaries and self-worth…
Have you checked the loyalty department?
Healthy loyalty to others is considered having a sense of integrity and respect towards the other person in a relationship.
But, as with anything in life… Too much of anything can turn into a bad thing.
Even medicine can turn into poison if taken at the wrong dose…Anna Rose
Many people are blindly loyal to a fault.
What does this mean?
When you are loyal to a fault the bonds and commitments you have to others that you consider a part of your inner circle or tribe, means you will stick around even if you are harming or damaging yourself in the process.
Self-sacrificing your own happiness at times as an act of homage toward your loyalties.
If you are hurting yourself or going against your inner knowing of what you believe is right or wrong, then you are loyal to a fault.
Understand that no one wins in this type of situation.
Loyalty should be given with discernment and to the right people.
4. You have codependent personality traits
You have a hard time being alone. It stirs up anxiety in you and makes you feel depressed.
Unhealthy codependency is bad when we feel that will have no identity or self-worth without others.
It turns from bad to worst if we get so lonely to the point where we are willing to entertain any type of company.
Fear and loneliness make us do things and behave in ways that can be against our own judgment.
I believe no one truly likes to be alone 100% of the time. Those that spend a lot of time alone could tend to do so because they have yet to find the right and compatible people.
Codependency issues should not be taken lightly and will need special care to be resolved.
In the meantime, it is wise to be selective with friends and lovers who have the best traits you would want to see in yourself or those that have strong and healthy character traits.
5. You tend to see the good in others
Toxic people cannot help acting out or behaving in toxic and negative ways.
They can or will intentionally hurt you and then apologize over and over again for oftentimes the same hurtful behaviors.
Sometimes they don’t even apologize at all. Believing that they never did anything wrong in the first place.
Toxic people are attracted to family, friends, and lovers that easily forgive or tend to overlook their toxic ways and unhealthy behaviors.
Sometimes we are so callused by all of the negativity that we might have even joked or laughed it off. Saying things like ‘’that’s just who they are…’’ and ”aren’t they funny? She/he is always like that…;.
When we allow others to repeatedly treat us poorly, we are silently signaling to them that we don’t deserve to be treated right.
While telling ourselves in the process that we don’t want or deserve the right people who will treat us with love and respect that we really desire.
How is that for a thought?
Last few words about having traits that makes you a magnet for toxic people…
Ever wonder why you keep attracting dead-end relationships, fake friends, or other toxic relationships?
I have a couple of tips you can start using today to help repeal yourself against these kinds of people from entering and or trying to have an extended stay.
Do you have a firm sense of who you are?
How do you feel about yourself?
If I asked you for a list of the best qualities in YOU, how many can you name?
The number one rule to repeal toxic and negative people is to hold yourself in high esteem and to know your worth.
It has nothing to do with walking around with your nose stuck in the air and everything to do with honoring who YOU ARE and your TRUE WORTH.
Nothing repeals people who don’t align with your happiness and purpose quicker than when you truly love yourself.
They won’t waste their time, because they know you can’t be easily manipulated and or used.
Understand that your sense of self-worth can easily bruise their ego. You might have to face back lash and be under fire for when their bruised ego wants to have a temper tantrum.
What is your happiness?
The next tip is all about the word ‘’INTENTION’’.
Do you know what you want out of life and what kinds of people you see fit in that lifestyle?
Most of the time we don’t really know what we want or need and so we just let anyone, and anything take over our life.
If you don’t know what you want out of life the first thing you need to do is to have quiet time to self-reflect. When you get to truly know yourself you will know what you like, don’t like, need, and don’t need.
(For more help on self-reflection check out my article: Self-reflection: Definition and how to do it right)
If you know something or someone is not good for you then set boundaries to keep that situation at bay and stick to them.
Put it this way, you only have so much time and energy each day. If you fill up your time and energy with what you don’t want the very things that you do want will never find its way to you.
Why would what you want show up at your door step if you’re silently telling the world you’re okay with settling for less by choosing to entertain less than what you deserve?